Harley's Polka Party and the Joker's Boner
by Akito The Sex Goddess
Summary: The result of a sugar high after watching Brokeback Moutain. Random characters, and no plot whatsoever. WARNING: Contains gay Pokemon theme songs. May cause orgasms. Rated T for sexual reference.


It was a cold, snowy night as Batman sat in the Bat Cave, looking up his Bat Computer at the new Bat-Mail he'd received. He fixed his Bat-PJs covered in the Bat-Logo, fully equipped with Bat-Undies. He picked up his Bat-Mug and sipped a bit of his Bat-Cider, scowling as he opened the Bat-Mail titled "The Boy Who Cried Bat" (after checking it for any Bat-Viruses, of course). It read:

Dear Batsy,

Hope you're cozy in those batty pajamas this Christmas! Just wanted to wish you a happy Holiday!

With love,

Joker

PS: Look behind you.

Just as Batman had wheeled his Bat-Chair around to face the Bat-Exit, he noticed who other than the Joker himself, a Santa hat on his head, and Harley Quinn at his side.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" he said, picking up Harley, who squealed.

"How the hell did you get in here?!" Batman yelled, nearly spilling his cider. The Joker grinned and laughed cruelly, setting Harley back down.

"Front door."

"I see... WHY?!" Batman yelled. The Joker grinned.

"It's simple really... Harley!" He clapped his hands twice, and the lights lowered, a spotlight shining down on The Joker and his harlequin moll.

"To send the world into devastation!"

"To kill the people within this nation!"

"To announce the evils of truth and love!"

"To send Gotham into the stars above!"

"Harley!"

"Joker!"

"Together, we blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

"Hee hee! That's right!"Batman stared at the two for some time. The Joker and Harley stared right back. Then Batman stared at them some more. Finally, he spoke.

"...Was that the Team Rocket theme song?!"

"Damn it, I _told_ you he's seen the show before! BAD HARLEY!" The Joker gave a swat to Harley's head with a rolled up newspaper. Where he got it, nobody knows.

"And then I woke up in a garbage can in San Fransisco..." Harley said quietly to no one in particular.

Suddenly, from the sky, a light appeared.

And then.

AKITO! She/he/it/uh,let'sgowithshe fell from the sky, landing directly on the Joker, and began laughing at him hysterically.

"Why are you laughing at my boner?!" The Joker asked.

"Because its so small!"

"Wait, what?"

"You forget," Batman began. "We were made way back in the 50's. The lingo was different!"

"HEE HEE!" Akito said. "...Lingo."

"LET'S THROW A POLKA PARTY!" Harley yelled randomly. Then Akito took off her clothes and screamed "HALLELUJIA!" from the treetops that magically appeared in the Bat-Cave.

"HOLD THE BALLS!" The gym teacher yelled. Everyone held their dodge balls except for Harley, who looked around dumbly saying, "I don't have any!" She blinked. "Can I hold Puddin's?"

"HARLEY!" The Joker yelled. "NOT UNTIL LATER!" Everyone was silent. "I... uh..." Blink. "LOOK, A DISTRACTION!" He said, pointing to nowhere in particular. Everyone's heads turned, the Bat-Mobile lost a wheel and Joker took ballet, HEY!

"Dear Jesus!" Akito said. Then laughed. No one got it.

"LIIIIL' DAAARRRLIIINNN'!" Ennis Del Mar yelled as he chased Jack through the set. The director did a face-palm and sweat-dropped.

"No, the sex scene isn't until LATER!"

"Can I be in it?" Sango asked.

"...You're not even in this movie!"

"Hey, how can Heath Ledger be Ennis Del Mar and the Joker at the same time?"

"BECAUSE THE JOKER IS MARK HAMMIL, NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH, AKITO!"

"I'M SANGO!"

"FELLATIO!" Then Harley got pregnant and they all had muffins.

"Whacha gonna name ya kid?" Robin asked. Harley pondered this for a moment.

"Hmm... I was thinking of Joker Jr. Either that or HRRRRRRRR!"

"Why would you name it Joker Jr.?" The Joker asked, pulling out his collar and coughing a few times. Harley blinked. They stared at each other for a moment.

"YAY FOR AWKWARD SILENCES!" Momiji shouted. Then Turk and JD sang "Guy Love" to the tune of Yankee Doodle.

"AND IF FOREVER'S NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO LOOOOOVE YOU!" Sango sang as she made Miroku into a giant monk sundae. And Barbie lived in Funky Town.

--

_Behold, the result of a horny Akito on a sugar high after watching Brokeback Mountain. Eat it, bitches. Without any milk! _


End file.
